Monday Recipe – Brownies

BROWNIES

HISTORY: While I was growing up, my parents were friends with another couple with kids, and my mom made this recipe for them EVERY time they came over, for some unknown reason.  But I think they kept coming because they knew they’d get these brownies.  People’s brains are so tied to food, even when they don’t realize it!  This was also a great go-to for birthday “cake,” especially for my dad, who could live off chocolate bars, fudge, hot chocolate, chocolate ice cream, chocolate croissants, and chocolate-covered cherries.

RECIPE:

Put two squares of butter (REAL butter is always best) into a saucepan on medium heat.  Stir in 5 generous (ie. overflowing) Tbs cocoa and turn off the heat when the butter is melted.  Then add 2 cups of sugar, followed by 4 eggs.*  Stir in 3/4 cup flour, 1 tsp baking soda and 1 tsp vanilla.  Bake in a greased pan at 350 for 25-ish minutes.  Voila!

With or without frosting, you will never taste better brownies.

 

This is exactly how they look, although I found this picture online. Yum!

* IMPORTANT – it helps to mix these separately and then stir them in quickly.  Once, in my teens I made these with a friend and we added them in slowly to the still hot sugar/butter mixture and ended up with cooked egg pieces before the brownies entered the oven. gross. Haha, we still cooked the brownies, hoping that somehow the cooked eggs would go away!  They didn’t.  Sorry to gross you out.  Just wanted to protect you from making the same mistake.

Nutella

Nutella: beside its weaknesses, it is one of the tastiest, most sublime forms of everyday chocolate out there. If it weren’t for it’s high content of sugar + palm oil and low concentration of cocoa, it would be true food for the gods.  Especially succulent is Nutella on crepes, graham crackers, and fruit.  Some of it’s deficiencies work to its benefit – like it’s inability to harden at room temperature, thus making it like a no-cook thick fondue. One must become accustomed to the distinct taste of Nutella, which is at the same time nutty and chocolatey. But once that taste is acquired, it is never lost.  Some people think of it as French peanut-butter, but it’s more like world peanut butter except it is hazelnuts and contains a trace amount of cocoa.

My half-empty jar.

The label is one of the most interesting parts of this delicious oddity!  My large jar (which I purchased from Costco) contains 97 hazelnuts, which I’d think would only be about 1/2 cup of hazelnut butter.  Why they would they not add 5 more and label it as containing “more than 100 hazelnuts”? Also interesting is the picture on the front of the label. It could very well be the same one they have used since it was developed in 1964.

And on the back:

 

 

“Turn a balanced breakfast into a tasty one…” This first clause makes me laugh because the less healthy the breakfast before the addition of this smooth chocolatey spread, the more delicious it is! I like the thought of trading my healthy all-whole-grain breakfast for a nutella-covered no-nutrition breakfast treat. Because despite what my insides are thinking, my heart would stay happy for hours after. At 200 calories per serving, how can you go wrong? A few years back a mother sued Nutella-maker Ferrero for falsely claiming Nutella is “part of a healthy breakfast.” I wonder how many people tried similar suits for other products.

Two days ago it was announced by Grub Street that New York will soon be opening an all-Nutella restaurant, owned by “self-described Nutella enthusiasts” How awesome!  The Brooklyn restaurant’s website is very visually appealing. But how will they survive, when the restaurant hinges on a proprietary product owned by another company?

“The menu for the soon-to-open aptly-named restaurant Nutelleria is filled with chocolate-nut spread-filled delights, including breakfast pizzas, crepes, croissants and a bacon-banana-Nutella waffle sandwich…”

If I find myself in Brooklyn I will definitely go (provided that Ferrero cease-and-desist letters don’t force them out of business)! And leave a detailed review here on my blog.

Questions? Call 1-800-nutella

 

Chocolate Legos?!

I saw today that a Japanese Designer named Akihiro Mizuuchi came up with chocolate legos.  I think this is pretty ingenius, of course, and lots of fun – but why hasn’t it been done before?  Maybe people thought they would just get mushy and fingerprinted from being handled and played with.  Which of course, they would, and as the article addresses, this is not so much a problem if you like to eat chocolate.  And lick your fingers.  Wash your hands before you get going!

So, how much do these cost? Are they like monogrammed M&M’s, or perhaps more expensive? I would guess they are about 5x more expensive than the M&M’s.  But I can’t find them for sale anywhere.  Did LEGO Corp pay Mr. Mizuuchi to design these? If so, how much did they pay him?  I think that would be my dream job, coming up with mold ideas and designing different shapes of chocolates.  How awesome.

Monday Recipe – Fruit Topping

Today’s recipe is super easy, like all my favorite recipes.

Fruit Topping

History:

I made this up in my kitchen a while back.  I’m sure a lot of people have made up this same recipe.

Recipe:

Take 1 cup of sour cream or plain yogurt (greek is best) and whip it with 2 Tbs sugar (or honey, or other sweetener).  Spoon it over fruit.  Yum!  It is the perfect blend of tart and sweet.

My Secret

Some people have asked me – “How do you write so well?”  They say, ” We are awed at your writing ability and intuitive insight.”  Well, I will now take a moment to explain.  I won’t get too much into my secrets because then people would copy me, but I will outline the basics.

1. I eat chocolate.

2. It feeds my soul and my creativity.

So, that’s about it!  I’m sorry I have to be so secretive about it, but there are lots of details that I cannot include here, like pages and pages worth, for all the public to see.

Monday Recipe – Cinnamon Tortillas

Since this is a commentary website, I will not post many recipes.  But….each week on Monday I will post a favorite recipe!  This will be a recipe that is EASY.  And by easy I mean DOABLE.  Like, you make it once and then you pretty much have it memorized forever.  And if you go and make lots of money on my recipes with your food truck or whatever, that’s ok as long as you give me credit.  Like on your menu put my web address and name and picture, so all your loyal, addicted customers will know from what source you got your awesome ideas.  Here is my picture, just in case you were wondering what I look like (drawn by my artist friend, who is 5):

It is very accurate.  What can I say?  I am a happy person.

HISTORY:

In honor of my younger sister, who is celebrating a big birthday today, I want to share a recipe we loved growing up.  I have a distinct memory of hiding out in our family car outside during a rainstorm and eating these, and it was thrilling.  Does anything that is thrilling to children need to make sense?  I think not.

RECIPE:

Place a tortilla on top of a plate and spread it with butter.  Sprinkle generously with sugar and cinnamon.  Cook in microwave for about 20 seconds.  You can tear pieces off or roll it up and eat it.  Beware of running melted sweet buttery goodness.  YUM!!!!!  This is so good that I need to post a bunch of pictures of it.

Butter

Butter is so underestimated.  Lots of people don’t even know what it is anymore.  They are like “oh that yellow stuff you put on things?”  Wow, they have no idea what they are even eating, since they are probably talking about margarine or some other sad butter substitute.  Margarine is crap made in a lab, but butter – real butter… oh, baby.  It comes from a real cow.  From its feminine udders.  Only after being extracted from the cow’s creamy milk, purified, and cleaned, is it ready to be eaten.  It’s like lard but so, so, so much better.  It should be one of the food wonders of the world.  Is there such a thing?  If not, I now proclaim butter to be a Food Wonder of the World.  Whoever invented it?  Thank you, to Whoever.  From the bottom of my soul.  And my bottom itself. Butter is great as a traditional topping to pretty much anything.  But, my favorite things to make with butter are:

– Cookies (all kinds)

– Cake (all kinds)

– Caramels

– White sauce

– Dinner rolls – should be at least half made of butter, then you butter them up before eating them.

– Stuffing – same as above

– Mashed potatoes – same as above, except you put gravy on top, of course

– Honey butter (for scones, etc)

– Brownies

– Frostings

 

I could just drink butter, but others would think that is gross.  I wouldn’t.  Maybe if it were less than a freaking $5 per pound, I would.