Monday Recipe – Brownies

BROWNIES

HISTORY: While I was growing up, my parents were friends with another couple with kids, and my mom made this recipe for them EVERY time they came over, for some unknown reason.  But I think they kept coming because they knew they’d get these brownies.  People’s brains are so tied to food, even when they don’t realize it!  This was also a great go-to for birthday “cake,” especially for my dad, who could live off chocolate bars, fudge, hot chocolate, chocolate ice cream, chocolate croissants, and chocolate-covered cherries.

RECIPE:

Put two squares of butter (REAL butter is always best) into a saucepan on medium heat.  Stir in 5 generous (ie. overflowing) Tbs cocoa and turn off the heat when the butter is melted.  Then add 2 cups of sugar, followed by 4 eggs.*  Stir in 3/4 cup flour, 1 tsp baking soda and 1 tsp vanilla.  Bake in a greased pan at 350 for 25-ish minutes.  Voila!

With or without frosting, you will never taste better brownies.

 

This is exactly how they look, although I found this picture online. Yum!

* IMPORTANT – it helps to mix these separately and then stir them in quickly.  Once, in my teens I made these with a friend and we added them in slowly to the still hot sugar/butter mixture and ended up with cooked egg pieces before the brownies entered the oven. gross. Haha, we still cooked the brownies, hoping that somehow the cooked eggs would go away!  They didn’t.  Sorry to gross you out.  Just wanted to protect you from making the same mistake.

Crackers

“Crackers, Gromit!  We forgot the crackers!!”

These two love cheese and crackers.

 

Like Wallace from Wallace and Gromit, I too like crackers.  Have you ever tried making your own crackers?  I haven’t.  I once saw a cooking blog post where a mom was making HOMEMADE GOLDFISH CRACKERS.  She had a little tiny cutter she used for each cracker.  Wow.  She must be very patient.  I would do a mini batch of 20 and then say, “whew!  I’m sure that’s all I’ll want to eat.” And then after I eat them I’d go to the store and buy a package.

I was thinking about crackers all day today because this morning I finished off the last of a package I had in the pantry.  Two days ago my friend brought me a jar of the BEST JAM EVER.  And ever since I have been eating it on crackers.  I actually finished off the whole jar in three days.  Pretty amazing, that little jar of jam drove me to madness.  I will go into more detail when I do a post on that specific jam soon.  I have no idea who’s original idea it was, but they could control the world with that jam.  At least, if the world were made of people like me.

Anyway, I got to thinking about crackers, and how they are really just a stale bread product.  Like, someone left their croissant out in france, or in England they left their biscuits out too long, and then all the French and English people realized how good stale, hardened bread can be!  Of course, the more butter or fat, the better tasting the stale bread.  (Saltines must have come from non-fat bread)  Hence, the cracker was born, and with through the years, it became something like this:

I especially like these.  So crunchy and plain.  Ritz, Townhouse, you know – the buttery variety sprinkled with salt.  It’s just like a stale croissant chopped up with salt added to enhance the buttery flavor. With the air condensed down. Maybe these are more from the biscuit family tree.  At any rate, they are fantastic with cheese or jam, especially the JAM that could rule the world.  More on that later.  For now, eat your crackers with what you will, and enjoy.

Monday Recipe – Cinnamon Tortillas

Since this is a commentary website, I will not post many recipes.  But….each week on Monday I will post a favorite recipe!  This will be a recipe that is EASY.  And by easy I mean DOABLE.  Like, you make it once and then you pretty much have it memorized forever.  And if you go and make lots of money on my recipes with your food truck or whatever, that’s ok as long as you give me credit.  Like on your menu put my web address and name and picture, so all your loyal, addicted customers will know from what source you got your awesome ideas.  Here is my picture, just in case you were wondering what I look like (drawn by my artist friend, who is 5):

It is very accurate.  What can I say?  I am a happy person.

HISTORY:

In honor of my younger sister, who is celebrating a big birthday today, I want to share a recipe we loved growing up.  I have a distinct memory of hiding out in our family car outside during a rainstorm and eating these, and it was thrilling.  Does anything that is thrilling to children need to make sense?  I think not.

RECIPE:

Place a tortilla on top of a plate and spread it with butter.  Sprinkle generously with sugar and cinnamon.  Cook in microwave for about 20 seconds.  You can tear pieces off or roll it up and eat it.  Beware of running melted sweet buttery goodness.  YUM!!!!!  This is so good that I need to post a bunch of pictures of it.

Butter

Butter is so underestimated.  Lots of people don’t even know what it is anymore.  They are like “oh that yellow stuff you put on things?”  Wow, they have no idea what they are even eating, since they are probably talking about margarine or some other sad butter substitute.  Margarine is crap made in a lab, but butter – real butter… oh, baby.  It comes from a real cow.  From its feminine udders.  Only after being extracted from the cow’s creamy milk, purified, and cleaned, is it ready to be eaten.  It’s like lard but so, so, so much better.  It should be one of the food wonders of the world.  Is there such a thing?  If not, I now proclaim butter to be a Food Wonder of the World.  Whoever invented it?  Thank you, to Whoever.  From the bottom of my soul.  And my bottom itself. Butter is great as a traditional topping to pretty much anything.  But, my favorite things to make with butter are:

– Cookies (all kinds)

– Cake (all kinds)

– Caramels

– White sauce

– Dinner rolls – should be at least half made of butter, then you butter them up before eating them.

– Stuffing – same as above

– Mashed potatoes – same as above, except you put gravy on top, of course

– Honey butter (for scones, etc)

– Brownies

– Frostings

 

I could just drink butter, but others would think that is gross.  I wouldn’t.  Maybe if it were less than a freaking $5 per pound, I would.